This status was posted around 7am on a bright, beautiful, warm sunny morning… By a woman who is gainfully employed, just had a beautiful baby boy, lives in a place that is warm and sunny and beautiful over 300 days each year.
Facebook is not your therapist! Neither am I… So don’t dump your shitty mood disorder on my news feed… This should count as assault!!!
Watching Maury… His old ass brave dealing with these ratchet bitches.
My cousin, Elijah
The other day a client asked me who my hollywood crush was… I couldn’t think of anyone off the top of my head… But today I had some spare time, so thats what I thought about. So here’s my top 5 foxes.
5. Vincent D’Onofrio
Crazy hot, tall, smart and a great voice… But about 10 years ago, he blew up like he was preparing for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
4. Benicio del Toro
Another great voice, great actor, great smoldering squint…. And another guy who didn’t age well and ended up looking like a big, fat, Puerto Rican, cigarette-smoking California Raisin.
3. Jake Gyllenhall
I’ll let those photos speak for themselves. Yikes.
2. James Franco
Yes, there’s a theme. A man with messy hair and/or a flawless smirk is undeniable. Plus, the guy went to Yale!
1. Jesse Williams
That body. Those eyes. Fuckin forget about it. Im dead. Perfection… Plus - get this - he’s half SWEDISH! Be still my heart.