Watching Maury… His old ass brave dealing with these ratchet bitches.
My cousin, Elijah
That cup may or may not be full of gasoline.
Four Twix… Cuz you never know when you’ll need another.
In a twilight sleep, I was awoken by a breathy whisper in my ear… “Heeeyyyyyy”
Freaked me the *&$% out.
Ok, so I can’t say with any certainty that it was a ghost… But still. Very spooky.
I woke up on Saturday with this little pesky bug bite… By this afternoon, it had blown up into this gnarly abscess and hurt twice as bad… Doing massages all week definitely didn’t help, but neither did the antibiotics that I got on Sunday, so there ya go.
Today (Thursday), I went to urgent care and they sliced this bitch open, squeezed out the guts, gave me stronger antibiotics and sent me on my merry way. No massages for a couple days, but better than gangrene! :D
"I think I’m gunna make a rocket out of a tea bag! Don’t worry, Tara… I saw this on YouTube…"
*FIVE MINUTES LATER*
"It didn’t work… I think it’s the "environmentally friendly bag!" Organic bags are silly… Not good for science."
- Me: Does this girl look like me? It's this guys ex...
- Roommate: Um... here are definitely similarities, but your nose and eyes are too different.
- Me: Ok.. I just don't want to start seeing a guy and then find out that he's into me cuz I look like someone else.
- Rommate: Oh no, you look different. If I were a white girl at a party, I definitely wouldn't get you guys confused.